February Horoscope + how to find your community
By Rosa-Lee O'Reilly
Hello Saucettes,
hello all, it’s me, Rosa-Lee. I am an Aotearoa-born writer and a Contributing Editor at Sauce. This time, I am here to help you with the heavier things—loneliness and alienation that come with living in a foreign place (or at home). When you think of packing up your entire life and moving abroad, you think of a whirlwind of introspective epiphanies, endless self-discoveries, shags in strange places, spontaneous trips with strangers, trying out all sorts of new identities and personalities.
I can confirm that these things do happen. When you change your life, it is, in fact, life-changing. But with great change comes great challenge. No one prepares you for the visceral culture shock, complex visa processes, health insurance, and homesickness that come with finding your footing in a foreign place. What’s more, no one tells you that community–that feeling of belonging–does not magically fall into your lap as it has before; instead, you must create it for yourself. Being a part of a collective takes your individual participation.
If there is anything I learned from my time overseas, it is that the biggest flex in life is a supportive community. For a short while, I had none, so I had to go out and find one. Here are a few of my tips on how to do so (either at home or in a new place).
Go for walks around your neighbourhood without your headphones. And make sure you smile at every person who walks by. This will make you more approachable to people on the street. I noticed that when I went for walks without my headphones, I could hear the squeals and giggles of small children in parks, which made me feel connected to the humanness around me. Another tip: leave your phone at home (that is, only if you can muster directions without Google Maps and feel safe doing so).
Clothing is inherently sociocultural. How you dress is a social indicator and expresses your personality to the physical eye. I once walked into a cafe, and the gorgeous barista behind the counter complimented me on my Biddy Knits vest (I called it my good luck vest, as every time I left the house in it, I received at least one compliment, and I also swear it got me jobs). "Wow, that's the most colourful vest I have ever seen. Where is it from?" she asked. This question then sparked a two-hour-long gabfest that went on to form one of the most genuine friendships I have to this day. It shows how much a simple compliment can impact your life. Conversely, make sure to compliment other people's outfits. You never know where the conversation will take you.
Make third places your best friend : Co-working spaces, climbing gyms, pilates classes, libraries, local coffee shops, community parks, and trendy wine bars are where you can plonk yourself for hours on end and chat with like-minded people.
Sign up for in-person events, especially curated community events, as you are bound to meet someone with the same interests and intentions. A few great examples are bynaturalfreedom, clubsup, and neighbourhood. Outside of these events, always keep your eyes open for markets, pop-ups, or things like yoga in the park.
Music has been integral to human bonding for as long as we can remember. There is a sociological concept known as "collective effervescence" that one experiences when attending live gigs and shows. This kind of communal coming together and harmonious shared experience is vital for you when you are overseas.
A lot of us run from loneliness, but it can teach you many things, actually make you a better human. Loneliness is in fact a catalyst for growth. When you experience loneliness, you start to look around more, you start to get creative to find human connections–it's a bit like running out of money. You think: "Okay, I have less of this now, how can I go out and get more?" Notice the part of you longing for something–what is that? What does that lead you to? And who does it lead you to? The quieter you become, the more you can hear.
Be open and receptive. All the people and communities I found would have never happened had I been closed off and unreceptive. So, when you leave the house each day, make sure you leave behind your judgement.
Food is a cross-cultural vessel that connects people in ways sometimes words cannot. Everyone loves to eat. Everyone loves to learn the story of a traditional dish. Invite friends home for dinner.
Leave room for spontaneity—and by this, I mean letting go of control (terrifying, I know). The best, most cherished memories are often of serendipitous happenstance. The best, most precious people you meet are always at the most random of times.
Let others help you. As a hyper-independent queen, I would tell myself I didn't need anyone to help me. But of course, I needed somebody. Everyone needs someone. A lovely friend I made would often cook big batches of soup and drop off leftovers at my door—a sweet angel from the heavens, if you ask me.
Be the energy you want to attract. I am a big believer in energy exchange. If you want to attract good people, be a good person. If you want to surround yourself with active people, be active. If you want to surround yourself with creative people, be creative. The right people will find you.
I want to leave you with one final bit of advice: give yourself grace. Allow yourself the space to feel things. I had local spots—trees in parks, benches overlooking the water—where I would go to cry when I missed home. Longing and missing are beautiful things, as they mean, someone somewhere loves you. It means you are alive.
The reality is that sadness, longing, and loneliness are inevitable. You can be lonely in a foreign country, far away from friends and family, and on the other hand, you can also be lonely in your hometown. Suffering does not have a geological preference. But with that, so does pleasure, love, and joy. Once you acknowledge that wherever you go, so does your capacity to feel things, comes the knowledge that the only place to be is right here, wherever your heart is.
And remember, your heart is a powerfully resilient thing. I promise you can do hard things.
Sending you love wherever you are in the world,
Rosa-Lee x
NEW ON SAUCE THIS WEEK
Your February Horoscope is here, thanks to Hannah Crerar.
If January was all about dreaming, February is about finding a new direction. It is the perfect month to channel your dreams toward something. If you feel like you’ve been in a waiting room, this month brings momentum, answers, and action.
Uranus stations direct right before the month begins, waking you up to truths that you might not have seen before. It can also bring unexpected surprises, so it’s important to welcome change!
KEY DATES
4th Feb - Jupiter stations direct in Gemini
The planet of abundance, knowledge and expansion begins to come out of its retrograde haze. Notice what new opportunities come into your life and where you feel called to ask questions. Jupiter will spark curiosity in all of us, so find the confidence to speak up when you want to know more.
7th Feb - Neptune conjunct the North Node in Pisces
With a lot of planetary action happening in the sign of Pisces this year, it’s hard to know what is real and what is not. Is it a dream or is it real? We need to be alert to the lies others tell us and the lies we tell ourselves. This is a moment to listen to that one true voice within and remain yourself to connect with it regularly throughout the year.
13th Feb - Full Moon in Leo
This full moon will pull at the heart strings. It also signals a turning point. There may be some significant decisions you need to make. Let your decisions be guided by love not fear.
24th Feb - Mars stations direct in Cancer
Since December, Mars has been causing some dips in motivation and energy. While retrograde, you may have felt frustrated or overly emotional. As it starts to move in direct motion, you are able to take action with more ease and less resistance.
28th Feb - New Moon in Pisces
This is a dreamy new moon. It offers a beautiful moment to meditate, visualise, and connect with your creative side. Set intentions for the next six months of the year.
ps - if you love Hannah’s work, here is her DREAM 2025 BUNDLE that Hannah is offering this month with astrology and psychic predictions for the year ahead.
MEET ARTIST LOREN MARKS
Within this conversation, Loren shares her early artistic influences, dialogue between the materials and her responses, morning rituals and more.
SIX CONTEMPORARY AOTEAROA DESIGNERS TO ADD TO YOUR RADAR
Macy Andres has compiled a list of her current favourite voices in New Zealand design; in the hopes that we can all rage against the fast fashion machine, in style.
I love this!!!! Aquarius season in full swing